Out of Character
I’ve always been attracted to the different.
The tree at the edge of my front yard resembles Charlie Brown‘s Christmas tree – only taller. With spindly branches that extend frailly in every direction, it looks out of place. Its leaves are late to bloom each spring, and during the winter, the snow and ice weigh it down and cause the limbs to bow onto the street so that cars are forced to veer around it.
My wife thinks that I should chop it down.
I refuse.
I think that it has character.
For a couple of years, I’ve posted videos to YouTube. The majority of these videos have been vlogs. I don’t subscribe to many of the popular channels because most of them follow a formula to achieve popularity which makes it difficult to experience a human connection. They don’t respond to comments, so the communication is, in effect, one way. They are entertainers.
Many of the obscure vloggers, like me, focus less on the entertainment aspect of video-making and more of the communicative possibilities. Vloggers share their experiences and their views of the world. They offer glimpses into realities which we may otherwise never see. They respond to feedback and, in doing so, enrich our understanding of others.
They are a diverse collection of lovable characters.
When I say that I’m attracted to the different, I don’t mean the odd, crazy, or bizarre. I mean the calm, thoughtful, and humble. You see, we seem to pay too much attention to the loud, the abrasive, and the self-centered. So much so, that a person with a realistic sense of self has become, well, different.
Watch reality television, read random tweets, or observe how people behave in public. What do you see? I see a society that tends to embrace self-aggrandizement as if it were a virtue. It’s really unattractive behavior.
I find it hard to get to know you, if all you talk about is yourself.
If you are the person sitting alone at a party, I’m more likely to walk over and speak with you than I am to seek out the “life of the party” who craves attention. You’re probably more interesting because you are not trying to entertain.
No chest-beating, fist-pumping, attention-seeking histrionics required.
A person should have more depth than a cartoon character.
Some of the most interesting conversations that I have had have been with people who want nothing. They have no overt agenda and are simply trying to communicate and connect with another person.
It’s during these conversations that we learn about one another. We delve beneath the surface and discover the triggers that make us tick.
Our lows are just as important as our highs in shaping who we are because successes are often built upon failures. Our differences add context to our experiences. The lowly tree is beautiful when viewed in the right light.
To think differently, for me, would be out of character.
Ray, thank you for your post. I really liked your story of the tree at the edge of your front yard. In front of my ancient minka here in the mountains of Japan stands a giant of a ginkgo tree that many people have suggested I cut down, for various negative reasons they don’t hesitate to point out. That wonderful old tree has so much character, including an annual leaf fall that blankets the front space and takes me years to rake up. Who am I to ever think about cutting such a life force down? And I never will. I also agree with your insight that “our lows are just important as our highs in shaping who we are because successes are often built upon failures.” Please stop by my bilingual website/blog in this part of the world if you have time. I look forward to sharing perspectives from http://www.energydoorways.com – Catrien Ross.
Hi Catrien, thanks for commenting. The leaf fall of the ginkgo tree that you’ve described seems like a beautiful sight to see. I probably should have mentioned that my wife has made similar suggestions for cutting down a very tall tree that stood in the middle of our front yard. She was certain that it would fall one day. Wouldn’t you know it, but it did just that last December, on the day after Christmas. It fell on top of our house. Ouch! Maybe, I should have chopped that one down while I had the chance. Ray
Ray, well I must respond again. On the back slope (we live on a mountain) we had a big paulownia tree that we talked about cutting down because these trees are notorious for falling during typhoons or after heavy rains. Well, we did not cut it down and it did fall, and it slid down the slope into our old minka! We were awakened by an enormous shudder, but amazingly, the house was undamaged. This winter another paulownia fell after a heavy snow. So in spring we will cut down the remaining one in the front slope. I think that being authentically engaged with each moment of our lives means this awareness of all the details, and choices are not always easy. From the mountains in Japan, have a wonderful day – Catrien Ross.
I agree with you. Your blog is unique because you are so real. A few friends of mine have desperately tried to gain popularity in the blogging world. Two of them are getting what they want. Unfortunately they have sacrificed their integrity in order to entertain hundreds of strangers. It is a huge turn off for me. Keep being real.
By the way, the blog links look great!
Thank you so much, Tristan. You’re very sweet.
It’s interesting that two of your friends have been successful in attaining the attention that they sought. It probably wasn’t easy to accomplish, even if they strayed from who they were to get there. Do you think that they feel as you do about them having sacrificed their integrity in the process? It would be interesting to know the answer to that question.
I do plan on keeping it real, although by doing so I run the risk of being humdrum from time to time. Hopefully you’ll just ignore those posts and return to see if things have improved.
The Apture links are pretty cool, eh? I like the way the application allows you to use your own content as easily as public content without having to click away from the site. It does a particularly good job with videos. It’s free and fun, so you may want to experiment with the application on your blog.
Thanks again, Ray
I follow ProBloggers on Twitter as well as Robswebtips (where I found you). I don’t remember who put the link up but I saw a blog post about the difference between popularity for the sake of popularity and a quality site that attracts a lot of people. I like to follow people who are real in what they write. I try not to write for my audience as much as I write for myself. That keeps my writing in perspective.
Just be you. Some posts are going to better than others. I shouldn’t be intimidated by trying to split my blogs into two the way I have but sometimes I feel like my Piquant Storyteller posts have to be perfect. I do have some posts on there I’m not proud of – the writer’s block posts where I had to write something or continue banging my head against the wall trying to come up with witty perfection. Post the humdrum when you have to. It keeps you human and real. Now I need to follow my own advice!
I replied to your comment on my blog about the RSS feed. I never know if people click on the box to have comments emailed to them.
You are so thoughtful and intentional. I like that
A breath of fresh air…
Hi Jenny, thanks for the compliment. Coming from someone whom I consider to be “a breath of fresh air” it’s very much appreciated.
Ray