I needed a lighter the other day, so I asked the women behind the counter if she had any for sale.
She pointed to a display of BiCs that were emblazoned with NFL team logos.
“Which one,” she asked.
I shrugged, “Any one.”
“Any one?” she looked puzzled.
“Yes, please.”
“But they have teams on them,” she urged.
“I know.”
She held her hand just over the lighters, trying to make a selection.
She turned to me again, “Any one?”
My inside voice fought to take control, “Just give me a damn lighter!”
“Yes, thank you,” my outside voice replied.
——————–
Just as when Jimmy Carter famously confessed during a Playboy interview that he felt guilty because he had lust in his heart, I wonder if the same convention applies to having snarky thoughts in my head. What do you think? Do you struggle to keep snide thoughts to yourself?
Or are you the type of person who doesn’t filter what you say? Is every thought that enters your head treated as if it were made for public consumption?
Wait a minute, that describes Twitter, doesn’t it?
Maybe this doesn’t apply to you, and you have no idea what I’m talking about. I suppose that it is possible that you are a sweet and kind person who never, ever, ever has such thoughts? Does this describe you?
“You lie!”
Sorry, my inside voice won that time.
——————–
I think that everyone hears inside voices which urge them on and dare them to just, “Say it!”
My daughter insists that it’s just me.
“Normal people don’t think like that,” is how she put it.
I disagree, and so does my buddy, Joe .
Extra points if you are old enough to remember Sweet Polly.
——————–
What do you think? Is my Sweet Polly Purebread daughter correct? Is it just me?
Have you ever been in a situation where your inside voice made you laugh or smile at an inappropriate moment? Did you then have to explain your inconsistent behavior? How did that go?
——————–
Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
This is a very funny post. I have a neighbor who is 8 years old. She bugs the snot out of me. I probably keep my inside voice quieter than I realize when I’m around her but not always. She has a tendency to ask very personal and rude questions. One day she asked what it felt like to have 3 kids. She’s the oldest of 2. I rolled my eyes and said it felt normal. I didn’t know what she was getting at. I’m not in the mood for that kind of thing ever but I really get irritated at 8 am when I’m carpooling. Coming up with nice responses is too much effort that early in the morning.
One day I gave in to my inside voice. Thankfully it was safe. She said, “Is your 2 year old going to Disneyland with you?” I didn’t even think. The words just came out, “No, we were thinking of leaving her home alone. I’m kidding! Of course she’s coming with us!” Her response in her patented snotty tone, “Well, she won’t be able to go on many rides you know.” So I acted as if what she said changed everything, “Oh. Maybe we will keep her home then. She can clean the house and have a week of food prepared for us when we get back.”
Not my greatest story but I have a hard time keeping my inside voice inside. When I do keep it inside people ask if I’m ok because my body language suggests I’m unhappy about something.
Hi Tristan,
My teenage daughter almost always keeps her inside voice to herself, but as you pointed out, her body language is a dead giveaway that something is wrong. My youngest daughter is much more apt to say exactly what’s on her mind.
Usually, I think it’s best to keep the inside voice under wraps. Mine is freer around people who I know, but rarely makes an appearance around strangers.
I know many people who have seemingly unrestrained inside voices. Sometimes the things that they say are funny, but most of the time it just comes off as mean. If it’s funny, I say go for it!
Ray
Oh, Ray – Thank you! This post was great – I guess it’s better to call it my inside voice than my snarky evil twin
I’d like to tell you you’re normal – then so am I! He he
Thanks, Trish. Your proposal makes sense to me.
Consider me normal and I won’t mention your snarky evil twin.
It’s a deal!
Ray
For me it’s situational. My Inside Voice stays inside at work, especially when managers or VP’s come around my cube (which happens WAY TOO OFTEN because I sit across from the admin for the department). When I’m locked in a conference room with other mere mortals, it has a tendancy to show through … some …
I let it out much more often with my kids at home. Mostly because I need to hear theirs. And I need to teach them when it’s appropriate to let it loose (around people you trust) and when it’s not. This is especially true with my foster son, who I’m just now starting to be able to read his body language after 2 months living with us, I need to hear that un-filtered, un-censored, blurt-it-out version of everything, because otherwise I spend my life clueless about what’s really going on with him!
And don’t feel bad about not being normal. My mother had the best definition of normal I’ve ever heard:
“Normal means everyone in the world BUT YOU” …
Nobody is “normal”, so we all are!
Hey Doug,
That’s a good point that you make about encouraging young children to let it all hang out at home. We wouldn’t want something to be happening to them that they may have been convinced to keep secret. Also, it’s a good way for them to become accustomed to bouncing ideas off of you. It allows us to address misconceptions.
I’ve been in many a cubicle in my day, so I know what you mean. I’m fortunate enough to have an office in my current gig, (even though I am still a mere mortal) so I can close my door and let loose on the phone when needed. Sometimes overly intrusive salespeople need a good talking to. LOL
You’re Mom’s saying reminds me from that line from The Incredibles, “Saying that everyone is special is like saying no one is.”
OMG, I just quoted a cartoon. Normal, you say? Ray