It’s a habit that is held over from when they were babies.
The first thing that I do each morning is look in on my daughters. I’ll catch a glimpse of them if their bedroom doors are open, otherwise I’ll enter their rooms to allay my irrational fears.
Of course, they’re always fine.
Last night, I fell asleep during the ballgame – a summertime tradition. Like many, I’m usually wiped out on Friday nights. This morning, I noticed that my 9-year old had posted this sign on her bedroom door.
I don’t know what happened after I dozed off, but I’m sure that I’ll hear about it when she wakes. My guess is that there was some sort of altercation with either Mom or Big Sis or both.
This is not an uncommon way for children to express their displeasure, nor is it likely to lead to a permanent rift between the warring factions. In fact, the hurt feelings will most likely have dissipated by the time the story is told.
But what happens when adults behave like this?
On the Internet, it’s easy. All that you have to do is block, unfollow, unfriend, or unsubscribe. Just like that, you’ll never have to deal with the offending person again.
Problem solved.
In real life, where we need to navigate the many hurdles of relationships, it’s a bit tougher. Family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues can get under our skin just as readily as strangers can – probably more so. Unfortunately, iPhone relationship apps like This Could Be HUGE can’t be used for clicking away real people, so we have to adopt other strategies.
Real world relationships involve some kind of a connection between people. Severing those connections should be a last resort. Prior to reaching that stage, we tend to make all sorts of accommodations, such as:
- Couples who split up, but try to keep the yelling down for the sake of the children;
- Employees who smile at their bosses even when all they really want to do is deliver a whack to the back of the head;
- Children who pretend to listen to their parents;
- Friends who let things slide because they’ve known you for ages.
There is a constant give and take between people who care about one another. We either do it because we want to preserve a relationship that we recognize as being important to us, or simply because we wish to keep the peace.
Sometimes, no amount of accommodation between people can fix a broken relationship. It happens, so putting up a figurative “keep out” sign may be the best solution in those instances.
But governments should not have this option.
World leaders have a responsibility to employ all available means to ensure that at least a minimal level of communication is maintained. Simply insisting that some leaders are too difficult to deal with is not enough. Human nature dictates that the void created in the absence of dialogue tends to be filled with only negative things — suspicion, fear, and distrust.
Many people look upon the United Nations as a big waste of time and money. Likewise, diplomatic efforts of any kind are often dismissed as fruitless engagements. In recent years, America’s hot button diplomatic issues have centered on our engagement or disengagement with North Korea and Iran. Some advocate putting up a sign, similar to my daughter’s, as a policy for dealing with those nations.
I suggest that we ought to be able to come up with a better diplomatic plan than a 9-year old.
Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ray, thank you, this is a wonderful post on a very important topic. I enjoyed how you connected personal experience with worldwide attitudes. Yes, surely all countries, if truly mature, can “come up with a better diplomatic plan than a 9-year old.” So why is that so many governments seem never to have graduated from elementary school? At one level it is quite frightening to contemplate this.
As you so expressively point out, we don’t have the option – or we don’t want the option – of severing connections when things don’t go well in relationships. Because in cutting off our connections we cut off our own life source, and that’s the end of that, as in the very end.
Thank you for drawing such a lesson from your daughter’s stance. There seems to be some caring communication and deep connection in your family. And thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I appreciate your smile – Catrien Ross.
Hello Catrien,
Thanks for the lovely comments. I usually try to write about global or complex events from the personal perspective. I feel that it’s a more effective way to address the underlying issues.
I didn’t think of it at the time, but you are right — contemplating the apparent lack of maturity that is often on display in these matters is quite frightening.
About my girls, I’m lucky to have them. They keep me feeling young.
Take care, Ray