Working mothers have it hard.
Being a homemaker was once a full-time job, but ever-shifting social norms and the economic necessity of a two-paycheck household have conspired to make it a part-time undertaking for many.
Unfortunately, this part-time gig has not shed any of its full-time responsibilities.
“Do all that you did before, but do it in much less time – and don’t be late with dinner.”
That’s “crazy talk,” isn’t it?
Well, this is exactly what is asked of millions of working moms, even if it isn’t stated quite so overtly.
But there is hope.
Lots of men have pitched-in to take on some of the load, although many others still have not. Beyond simply pitching-in, many men have embraced their own expanded roles in the maintenance of the household. This expanded role is generally still a secondary one to the role of mom, but the level of involvement – especially in terms of their children – is positive and gaining momentum.
Examples of this social change can be found in first person narratives on Dad Blogs. They have 825 registered members – mostly dads but some moms too – and the site provides a way for dad bloggers to connect with one another. Member blog posts are not meant to be devoted solely to parenting and household related issues, but many of them are.
Moms have been extremely successful in networking in this way, so the founders of Dad Blogs hope to achieve a similar level of buy-in and participation from its members.
The very existence of such a site should give women hope.
Men are slowly, but gradually, descending from the trees.
I was fortunate enough to have been raised by a mom who taught her six children (five boys) how to handle themselves in domestic situations. Washing, cleaning, ironing, sewing, dusting, sweeping, and scrubbing are just a few of the things that we learned. We always believed that being able to do these things was, well, normal.
I don’t recall mom ever mentioning that we should forget those lessons the moment we found someone who was willing to do things for us.
We really do care, ladies. If your man still resides in the tress, send him over to Dad Blogs.
It may encourage him to come down.
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Ladies: Are you getting the help that you need from your partner?
Gents: Have you seen your role change in recent years?
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Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Sounds like a cool blog.
Hi Ali, I’m new to dad blogs myself, but I like what they are trying to do. Ray
I joined Dad-Blogs (I’m one of the few moms) about a year ago. It helps me realize what guys are thinking and doing, how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. It’s amazing. I’d tell all Dads of any age to head over there. I hope in this day and age of the two income family, that everyone pitches in to create household harmony.
Hi SurprisedMom,
It was easy to see that you are one of the more active members of dad blog when I first came across the site. It’s a good alternative for men to the many mom sites that are out there. I find that mom sites are really good at encouraging participation – perhaps because they have been doing it longer, but more likely because women seem to be more open to communicating with one another and forming groups. Creating harmonious households is definitely an end-state worth pursuing. Ray
Hi Ray! I’m happy to say that my husband has descended from the trees. He does the vacuuming (he likes it), a lot of the cooking, washing dishes, and some laundry (although I’d prefer if he didn’t).
I think that part of the problem is with women. I have friends that criticize their husbands when they DO try to help around the house because they don’t do it exactly the way they would, and then they complain that their husband’s aren’t helping them. I do make suggestions from time to time, but I TRY (I don’t think I always succeed) to do it in a non-criticizing way. AND…I make sure to thank him, and tell him how much I appreciate him. I don’t NEARLY do that enough, so thanks for that reminder this morning. I’ going to set an intention to thank him for something every day!
Hi Judy,
It’s good to hear about another man that is working these chores. Fortunately, your husband may not be as rare a specimen as is generally believed. Since you’re happy with most of the contributions that he makes, maybe you could tell him that he should “ixnay” doing the “aundrylay” and spend his time on the other items on the list.
The criticism on how things should be done can go both ways though. I’ve been known to make an assertion or two about the “right” way to iron. LOL. It’s good that we can continue to learn as we go along, and maybe we can ease up on one another once in a while too.
I’m sure that the thanks that you offer your husband will be much appreciated.
Ray
My husband is the complete opposite of what I grew up believing men were like. The best thing he did for me recently was he sent me on a plane to see my family. This has been done before but this time I was gone much longer. He did the Mr. Mom thing while he kept the house clean, the kids fed, made sure our 6 year old went to school and got homework done, etc. It’s a tribute to how he was raised. Sounds like your mom taught you and your siblings well too. This is a great plug for Dad Blogs. Hopefully the stereotypes that men are incompetent and selfish will soon dissolve.
Good morning, Tristan.
It sounds like your husband is a keeper! That his actions are the opposite of what you had previously come to expect from are man makes it all the better. It seems that he took his rearing to heart which is great. I love to hear about stories that illustrate positive experiences.
There’s not enough traffic on my blog to make a big impact, but if I can direct a few people over to dad blogs, I’ll be happy about this post. Ray