He knows that he’s not welcome, but he keeps showing up anyway.
An old friend of mine is the kind of guy you’d be lucky to know. He has a gentle heart, an open mind, and an inviting disposition.
He’s a good friend.
A bit detached, he prefers the company of close friends and family, but he can be a real party animal when it’s time to celebrate.
He loves to dance.
He avoids drama and leaves the arguments over petty things to others. He has an egoless confidence in his ability to contribute to his community.
He’s full of life.
He offers this group many gifts; which they always accept.
He’s always been a giver.
Self-important people smile at him, but they’re just being polite. They know that he will never be one of them. They tell him that he is special. It’s hollow praise, so it feels like a slap to the face.
I can’t imagine why he continues to pursue this one-sided relationship. To belong to this club, he would have to change who he is.
Like many in his circumstance, he tried to be who they wanted him to be. A failed marriage that adversely affected two lives was the predictable result. No one should be obligated to live a lie.
They are asking too much.
His gifts fuel the hypocrisy that is promoted by this organization. He did not choose to be gay – he just is. His church has chosen to see him as something less than whole. Like facing a disapproving bouncer at a night club door, he’s told that he won’t be getting in to heaven.
The good acts of its followers promote the veracity of a religious organization’s message more so than the promulgation of an exclusionary dogma.
He’s a good person.
He helps others.
He’s a believer.
That should be enough.
Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
IMO it is enough. There are many people with different reasons that feel the need to belong to a religious organization. To have a sense of community is understandable to me. There is such a place where one can have this and be accepted – where many different spiritual views are respected and that is the Unitarian Universalist Church.
I am by no means trying to proselytize – but as someone who has been to many different “churches” – this is where I feel accepted & at home.
Hi Ali,
I agree that there are many reasons for wishing to belong or not belong to a religious organization, and I’ve experienced various levels of that yearning — less so at this point in my life. I feel that people should be nurtured by the stewards or their religion, which is why I get angry when I witness the opposite occurring. I’m glad that you have found a place where you have found connectedness and an acceptance of people. In my experience I’ve found that while there are many kindhearted people within the congregations, they are no match for the inconsistencies of the organizations themselves.
Thanks for sharing, Ray
Ray – to expand a bit on my experience with UU – I started out as the church administer – one of my duties was to schedule weddings for gays…this is a non-denominational, nonsectarian group that places tolerance of all belief systems. What I really loved about them is they teach the children the principles of all religions (not to convert – but to understand) & celebrate many of them…but most of all they teach the children tolerance for ALL people…
Nicely written. Thank you.
Hi Alicia,
Thank you very much. Ray