As my wife and I pushed our shopping carts through the parking lot of the supermarket, a passing woman remarked, “It’s so nice that you have help!”
She wasn’t talking to me.
As a fully domesticated male of many years, I resented the assumption that my wife was the grocery shopper and I was the help.
In reality, I’ve often taken care of the food shopping on my own, or with my daughters. And I’ve noticed, particularly during the evening hours, a lot of men are out there doing the same thing.
Why some people cling to an outmoded perception of gender roles, I’m sure I don’t know.
Men are guilty of believing ill-defined gender rolls too. When in a group, many are prone to spew some of the most inane dreck that can be imagined when it comes to their understanding of women.
Just for the record:
- When I am with my children, I am with my children and not baby-sitting;
- I cook, clean, do laundry, wash dishes, sew, shovel snow, and vacuum;
- My wife cooks, cleans, does laundry, washes dishes, sews, shovels snow, and vacuums;
- I mow the lawn;
- She rolls the trash and recycling bins to the curb.
It’s not a one-person show.
It rarely is.
Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Well said. I feel so spoiled that my husband does the majority of the cooking in our house and almost all of the grocery shopping. It’s not a one-person show and when either of us is not around and the other has to do it all temporarily, we appreciate each other’s help that much more. I don’t know how single parents do it!
Thanks, Tristan.
So your arrangement is even more against the grain than mine. I wouldn’t say that I do a majority of either chore that you mentioned — at least not on a consistent basis. There are times where I’ll be really busy with household chores, and other times when my job monopolizes my time. I know what you mean about single parenting. It’s got to be a really tough job! With so much to do, where do single parents find their down-time?
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On a different topic, I just visited Alicia’s site, Forever Changed, and she’s running A writing challenge — and contest that I believe may interest you. I’ve already let her know that I would be making a submission. Check it out.
Ray
My husband and I have turned tradition upside down. When my son was two, hubby retired to be a stay-at-home dad. I work as a consultant. Hubby cooks, cleans, landscapes, and handles homework. This has worked beautifully for us for the past nine years. Many of my family members and friends tell me how lucky I am to have a husband who does household chores. But I never see people say that to a man whose wife handles those chores. Similarly, people will tell a woman that she’s lucky she has a husband who provides for her. But no one ever tells my husband that he’s lucky he has a wife who provides for him. So, when people tell me how lucky I am, I tell them how lucky my husband is. I know…I’m fresh.
Hi Margaret,
Crafting an arrangement that both you and your husband are happy with is the best possible outcome. Many couples struggle in this area, particularly when the needs of one or both change over time. One of my brothers and his wife have a similar arrangement to yours. Theirs was brought about by a medical condition. I certainly do tell him that’s he’s lucky to have a spouse who provides for them.
Fresh is good. Besides, I bet that your husband agrees with you.
Ray