Grumpy Old Men

I understand how grumpy old men become grumpy old men.

The “old” part needs no elaboration, so I’ll move on.

The grumpiness starts with the disappointments. Knowing that disappointments are as much a part of life as successes, we shouldn’t feel crushed when they happen. But we do.

Part of the problem is the set-up.

We tell our children that they can be anything that they want to be. We package the illusion of control and gift it to them as a certainty. My mother was no different. She spread the possibilities before me so vividly. It was as if she was describing a life that she had lived – although she hadn’t. She’s lived a difficult life, but one that’s been full of selflessness and giving. Over time, I’ve bundled her dreams with my own.

I carry both with me still.

The impulse to bemoan a setback is strong. We have a dream and we believe we can get there. We see it, feel it, and embrace it while playing out scenarios in our mind’s eye. We may even get to live it for a time before the ultimate resolution is revealed.

That kind of loss can make anyone grumpy.

Next are the relationships that go awry. Long-time friendships, marriages, our professional standing, or most importantly, the relationships that we have with our children can change overnight. Things feel different. Sometimes we know why and other times we don’t. The reasons, after a time, no longer matter. The losses themselves and not their origins are what keep us up at night.

It’s easy to wallow.

Life becomes tentative. Like making our way down a steep hill, our momentum forces us to go faster than we want. As we run, we know that the slightest misstep will send us careening down the hillside. We proceed gingerly – take fewer chances – and sometimes avoid the hills in life altogether.

Everyone’s motives become suspect. We recoil from people because we know that they can hurt us. Being left alone is what we say we want, so we eventually are – by everyone.

It’s easy to give up.

When viewed this way, it makes sense. I see where you are coming from, grumpy old man.

I’ve looked down that rabbit hole, but haven’t fallen in. My life may end up as I’ve described, but it doesn’t have to. I already know that envisioning a future doesn’t mean that that future will be realized.

I suspect that this applies to the bad visions as well as the good.

I may understand grumpy old men better than I used to, but I’m not ready to join their club just yet.

Tagged as: aspirations, disappointments, dreams, grumpy old men, life's journey, ray colon, ray's blog, raycolon, reality, relationships

Author Bio:

Ray Colon has written 136 posts on Ray's Blog.

He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS  or Email.

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