Magnets are fun.
Hold one in each hand and they snap together – clink! Pry them apart slowly and you can feel them seeking each other out as they struggle against you until they are rejoined. That’s how it is, in the beginning, when the two of you hold hands.
Now turn one around and they repel each other with the same force that had just been pulling them together. That’s how it feels when things start to go wrong.
Anticipation is impatience without the attitude.
She takes an extra thirty minutes to work on her hair. Who cares? Losing a reservation is not like missing a meeting with your probation officer. She’s doing it for you! So you wait and you don’t complain. The long ride out to see her doesn’t seem long at all. If it were a friend asking you to make that trip, you’d probably think about it before saying no, but to see her you just get into your car and go.
Music is joyous until it isn’t.
There always seems to be a song that reminds you of her. She must have one too. From the first notes your heart feels a jolt and you are taken back to a moment, a smell, and a kiss. You wish that you could grab on to that moment and stretch it out indefinitely, but it is fleeting, just like the song, the smell, and the kiss.
Life is full of left turns.
All seems well until you, or she, makes a turn. It could be a conscious decision or just one of those things. You never really know. Now the two of you are headed in different directions. It doesn’t have to be a big turn, like a move across the country, the reappearance of an ex-lover, or a Chris Brown type of meltdown. In fact, it probably wasn’t big at all. It’s the little things that do in relationships – in the end.
But the two of you are constantly in motion, with each making decisions along the way. All it may take is for one person to stop turning for a second while the other catches up with a left turn or two of their own.
You have a one-in-four chance to end up on the same path, so keep looking around the corner until you find each other again.
It’s probably worth the effort.
Author Bio:
Ray Colon has written 157 posts on Ray's Blog.
He works with numbers for a living, but don't judge - boring accountants need love too. His blog has no niche (unless writing about things that are important to him is a niche). Some folks cringe when he gets “all political” on them, but he does it anyway when he's in that kind of mood. Sometimes, he writes something nice about someone, but you shouldn't get used to that. His first book, the one he hasn't written yet, is not available on Amazon. Subscribe to Ray's Blog via RSS or Email.
It's true that many have... } – 
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice one Ray. Enjoyed reading it.
Hi Ran,
Thanks for dropping in and letting me know that you enjoyed it.
Ray
Such a personal post. Thank you, and I hope the effort and the wait are rewarded.
Hi Alicia,
Thank you for the hopeful words.
I’d like to think that the post has broader applicability too. At least, that’s what I was going for.
Ray
Hi Ray,
The post does have broader applicability but I’m with Alicia, I hope the effort and the wait are rewarded.
You wrote that it’s probably worth the effort. I think it is. There are few reasons for a long term relationship to dissolve. Believing there is no way out of an abusive or dysfunctional relationship is not right but I personally believe too many couples want the easy way out. As if marriage is disposable. Marriage should mean much more than quitting when it gets hard.
You said that the little things can sabotage a relationship. That can be very true. On the flip side, little things can remind a couple why they loved each other in the first place. Depends on which little things one is talking about.
Whether you were talking about a specific relationship or speaking generically, love is worth fighting for. I’ve seen my fair share of divorce in my day but now that I’m married divorce hurts like never before. Probably because I can identify with loving someone with all my heart and soul. Imagining losing that love for whatever reason is heart wrenching.
Tristan
Hi Tristan,
You make a passionate case for seeing things through and I agree with most of what you’ve written. Marriage shouldn’t be disposable and yes, love is worth fighting for. The only point of departure, for me, is that I wouldn’t classify breaking up as taking the easy way out — choosing that route comes with its own set of problems.
My thinking when I write posts like these is to examine relationships — as a participant and/or an observer. I try to share a point of view that diverges from the type of knee-jerk reactions that people tend to gravitate toward. Writing about these things tests my perspectives and opens up a dialogue that may resonate with some of my readers. It’s interesting for me, and I think that it may be interesting for others too. Lastly, I try to do it by telling a good story, which I think gets lost when folks end up being concerned about me. It’s appreciated though.
Thanks, Ray
Being the spririted and emotional person I am I have given a lot of thought to your response to me. Probably I should let it go but I can’t!
This is what I have landed on in my mind. This whole topic is subjective. It’s hard to write or respond generally since there are exceptions to every “rule.” Some couples’ decision to break up may be impulsive and, as I said, the easy way out. Other couples may need to for various reasons that are not cut and dry. It depends on the situation.
So really I think as much as you want to write generally you are still human and therefore writing from your own perspective. Your own life experiences and observations of others color your opinion. The same is true of me and your other readers. I read and respond from my perspective which is colored by my experiences and observations. I took your “knee-jerk reactions” statement as an implication that that’s what I did with your post. I don’t automatically think one way or another on the issue of love. It depends on the situation.
It is interesting to examine relationships. I certainly enjoy doing that myself. I’m sorry you feel your point is lost when people are concerned about you for what you say. These personal posts you write are actually well written because you share deep feelings while trying to relate to a wide audience. I can appreciate that about your writing. Just realize that your ambiguity can sometimes make our minds run wild wondering what you aren’t telling us. We care about you!
Just my two cents again that probably add up to about $20 at this point!
Good morning, Tristan,
I woke up and reached for my phone and read your comment through bleary eyes.
Wait a minute. What? Where? Did I? LOL
No, I wasn’t referring to your comment when I wrote “knee-jerk”, but I guess I can see how you believed that I was. People often make rash decisions first and then think about what they’ve done in relationships later, instead of the other way around. It’s a behavior that falls in line with our fast-paced, instant everything society. The simple act of pausing before reacting is severely underutilized.
As for the minds running wild with wonder because of ambiguity, I think that that’s a good thing, so I probably won’t be changing that.
Your credit line is unlimited here, Tristan, so please do keep sharing your two cents.
Ray