I’ve always been attracted to the different.

The tree at the edge of my front yard resembles Charlie Brown‘s Christmas tree – only taller. With spindly branches that extend frailly in every direction, it looks out of place. Its leaves are late to bloom each spring, and during the winter, the snow and ice weigh it down and cause the limbs to bow onto the street so that cars are forced to veer around it.

My wife thinks that I should chop it down.

I refuse.

I think that it has character.

For a couple of years, I’ve posted videos to YouTube. The majority of these videos have been vlogs. I don’t subscribe to many of the popular channels because most of them follow a formula to achieve popularity which makes it difficult to experience a human connection. They don’t respond to comments, so the communication is, in effect, one way. They are entertainers.

Many of the obscure vloggers, like me, focus less on the entertainment aspect of video-making and more of the communicative possibilities. Vloggers share their experiences and their views of the world. They offer glimpses into realities which we may otherwise never see. They respond to feedback and, in doing so, enrich our understanding of others.

They are a diverse collection of lovable characters.

When I say that I’m attracted to the different, I don’t mean the odd, crazy, or bizarre. I mean the calm, thoughtful, and humble. You see, we seem to pay too much attention to the loud, the abrasive, and the self-centered. So much so, that a person with a realistic sense of self has become, well, different.

Watch reality television, read random tweets, or observe how people behave in public. What do you see? I see a society that tends to embrace self-aggrandizement as if it were a virtue. It’s really unattractive behavior.

I find it hard to get to know you, if all you talk about is yourself.

If you are the person sitting alone at a party, I’m more likely to walk over and speak with you than I am to seek out the “life of the party” who craves attention. You’re probably more interesting because you are not trying to entertain.

No chest-beating, fist-pumping, attention-seeking histrionics required.

A person should have more depth than a cartoon character.

Some of the most interesting conversations that I have had have been with people who want nothing. They have no overt agenda and are simply trying to communicate and connect with another person.

It’s during these conversations that we learn about one another. We delve beneath the surface and discover the triggers that make us tick.

Our lows are just as important as our highs in shaping who we are because successes are often built upon failures. Our differences add context to our experiences. The lowly tree is beautiful when viewed in the right light.

To think differently, for me, would be out of character.

Have I made a real difference?
I fail to discern
Will my children prosper
as they grow and they learn?
Can I guide them correctly since I am so flawed?
Did I do right by introducing them to God

I tended the altar back when I was a youth
Was convinced that all I had been told was the truth
I’d confess my child sins in that small wooden booth
Seems quite silly now as I grow long in the tooth

My beliefs are my own and not up for debate
I promote peace and love while rejecting the hate
Guarded thoughts and ideas to the forefront I bring
Introspection can be a quite dangerous thing

I feel I am well as I’m run through my paces
Give nary a thought to those shadowy places
Inappropriate themes in my mind overflow
I visit dark quarters we don’t usually go

I don’t hoodwink myself into feeling unique
It is merely deeper understanding I seek
I examine my life and I offer critique
Doubting, no fearing, that I have bypassed my peak

I find little comfort in the news of the day
And when I look inward I am filled with dismay
My efforts feel much like a baseballers missed swing
Introspection can be a quite dangerous thing

While not immune to a fit of trepidation
I yearn for moments of untainted elation
Watch my child being born; give a ring to be wed
It’s moments like those that let us know we’re not dead

Much of what transpires results from what we do
Yet oftentimes we fail to reconcile the two
Mistakes repeated are dismissed as déjà vu
It’s to ourselves that we most often are untrue

So what is my problem over what do I fret
It isn’t just boredom, a more serious threat
Did I really believe I could unfeel the sting?
Introspection can be a quite dangerous thing

This melancholy moment will soon fade away
But this comprehension with me is bound to stay
People have power, if we admit it or not
To change our perception of what it is we’ve got

We make lifelong decisions of which there are few
Each one contributes to the karma we accrue
We choose those to be near and see us through and through
They leave marks on our soul, those hardest to undo

It’s undeniable that we are spoon-fed the news by the media and it is also true that each media outlet repackages the news and filters it through their distinct points of view. This shading of the news should be left to the blogosphere — where skew via political affiliation, effusive commentary, and incredulity rightfully belongs.